


The Not Stalker

by awishturnedwell



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Dancing, Embarrassment, F/M, Obsession, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 22:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17191163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awishturnedwell/pseuds/awishturnedwell
Summary: Famous person getting hit on so someone comes and pretends to date them without knowing who they are.





	The Not Stalker

**Author's Note:**

> The Not Stalker  
> This is only part one, but I wanted to put something up in honor of Halloween.
> 
> Did I actually finish this? I guess we'll find out as I continue mining the depths of my tumblr.

Soul looked at the girl who had plopped down in front of him twenty minutes ago. She was still going on about how hot he was and how cool he was in his latest movie. He wasn’t sure if she realized she was repeating herself. He also wasn’t sure that the blackmail Tsubaki had on him was worth this. Would have been better if he’d let Tsubaki send the motorcycle crash outtake to his mother than deal with this annoyance.

But Tsubaki had met this guy using some dating app and she needed backup to go meet him. Soul was glad to help keep her safe, but he needed a flirt deterrent. The girl seemed nice enough, just too stunned by his celebrity status to do anything but gush.

Not that Soul would have been interested even if she could manage a proper conversation. He was a loner by nature and by choice.

With a mostly inaudible sigh he opened his mouth to excuse himself to the bathroom.

Before he could say anything, a tiny blonde with her hair in pigtails slid into the seat next to him and lightly touched his hand.

His mouth was still open when he turned to stare at her. He was pretty sure gaping was the proper term when you couldn’t make your jaw work.

“Hey! Have I told you lately how glad I am you’re not the jealous type? I know you don’t like dancing, but I had so much fun out there!” She giggled a little. Soul hated giggling, but damn she was adorable.

Her hand went from a light touch to gently twining her fingers with his. It was oddly comfortable. Considering he didn’t like to be touched, he hastily thought.

She turned brightly to the other girl. “Hi! My name’s Maka! You come here a lot?”

Soul thought it might be the most cliché line ever, but somehow Maka and the other girl (Britney maybe?) had a pleasant conversation for several minutes before the girl wandered away.

Maka looked at Soul apologetically. “Sorry about that. You looked really uncomfortable so I thought I’d help you out. She wasn’t your girlfriend or anything, right?”

With his mouth once more hanging open, Soul decided that yes, this was definitely gaping.

Clearing his throat he shook his head, “Not my girlfriend. But not one of the crazy stalkers either.” He eyed her suspiciously, “Are you?”

Maka blinked at him in obvious confusion. “I’ve never thought of myself as a stalker before. Hm…” Apparently she actually had to think about the question.

Soul managed to keep his mouth shut as he glared at her.

“Is that something that you would know about yourself? Or would you need a psychologist to tell you?”

Soul spluttered a little in his response. Not cool. "Hopefully creepily following someone around is an obvious enough hint!“ He might have come off a little too frantic in that outburst. So far, though, he’d been lucky in that his only creep factor was in letters. He hadn’t had any physical stalkers that he knew of. But the whole industry had horror stories they liked to tell on a regular basis.

Maka propped her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand and blinked innocently at him. "I guess that means I’m not a stalker then. I’ve never seen you before tonight and I definitely wasn’t following you around the club. I had a pretty good dance partner before I saw your pitiful face.”

Soul nodded sagely for a moment before everything she’d said hit him. He wasn’t sure if he was more surprised or offended. She’d never seen him before? And she thought he was pitiful?!

“You expect me to believe you didn’t know who I was before you came over here? Yeah right.” Attitude was everything.

“Should I have?”

“Yes!” Soul shouted. A blush immediately rose on his face and he could feel it spreading down his neck.

He was the cool guy! It was the only role he was ever cast in. He shouldn’t be shouting at random girls in clubs.

Maka looked more amused than anything else. "Oh really? And why would that be?“ She raised one eyebrow delicately in what was obviously a sarcastic gesture.

Soul growled. Actually, hand to god, like an animal, growled. He could feel his face go from bright pink to dark red.

“N-nevermind!” His instinct was to tell her to go away, but something was stopping him. It wasn’t just that she was cute. She was interesting in some indefinable way and he didn’t really want her to leave. He just wanted to stop acting like a moron in front of her.

“Um. It’s not really anything. Just most people around here seem to recognize me.” He ducked his head, proud to have regained some measure of “coolness.”

“Wow. Are you that much of a regular?” Her voice instantly took on a tone that he’d never heard in a bar. It took him a moment to pinpoint it. "You know, people who party too often are prone to aging young.“

Bookworm.

This sassy little girl was a bookworm. How could he have not figured it out from her pigtails? How had she even gotten in here?

"Are you even legal? Am I going to get in trouble just sitting here with you?” he snickered at her.

She pouted and Soul was instantly floored. He hoped it didn’t show that she had completely knocked the breath out of him. He was pretty sure he would do literally anything to get her to do that again.

Panting slightly he just had to dig the hole a little deeper, “I mean, you look like you’re twelve. With the pigtails and the button-down white shirt… who are you trying to kid?” This was good. He was getting his breath back. “Not only are you short, but you’ve got tiny tits. Hell, I bet that’s your nickname. Do I need to help you find your daddy?”

And that was it. He’d gone too far. One minute he was feeling proud of himself for covering up his lame moment, then next he was laying on the floor with what felt like a giant dent in his head. He vaguely recalled her shouting something like “Maka Chop!” before he’d gone down.

She was clutching a book shaped purse and glaring down at him.

As she turned to walk away Soul realized that he could see her whole body for the first time. If he thought she’d knocked him breathless with her pout, this was a whole different story. Now he understood why they’d let her in; even with her button-down shirt.

She was wearing one of those micro-mini skirts. It was plaid and barely covered her obviously gorgeous ass. Her shirt was slightly longer in the back and the whole thing hugged her waist in a way that was seriously suggestive. It also showed that she had more curve than he’d thought. A short black tie added more attitude than he could achieve with a leather jacket.

But the kicker was her legs. She was wearing a pair or four inch high-heeled boots that reached her mid-calf.

As her to-die-for-ass moved away, it - and her hips - swung seductively. He was sure the sway wouldn’t be quite so pronounced if it weren’t for those shoes. And what they were doing for her legs… He thought he was going to die.

All he could do was stare at the area where her skirt met the backs of her thighs and hope that the swing of her hips would reveal just the tiniest hint of more skin.

Soul realized he was drooling.

Snapping his mouth closed he sank further down against the table. She was gone and she would never even give him the time of day again.

Great. Now he was whimpering. How much more pathetic could he get? She was right, he was pitiful.

No. This was unacceptable. A girl like that was worth the effort. Soul stood. And immediately sank down again after hitting his brand new lump on the table bottom.

Feeling ultimately sorry for himself, Soul slithered back into his chair and started scouting for her. For Maka. Or TsubakI. She knew everyone and could help hook him up.

He found Maka first. She was dancing on the far side of the floor. Luckily he didn’t see anyone with her or he might have had some self-control issues.

Instead he furtively made his way to a wall near her. He stood watching her dance for a while.

For the next hour and a half she wandered to different places around the room. Soul wasn’t sure if she’d come with anyone because she would stop and talk to people for long periods of time before wandering away to be on her own again. Did she just like dancing alone or was she here without any kind of protection?

Soul began to feel more and more like her guardian angel. He would be her secret avenger. In his mind he swooped in to save her from players and scumbags time after time.

In reality he was the only one to follow her or even notice her for longer than a dance or a conversation. None of the men tried to force her to dance with them. They were surprisingly polite, tapping her arm before moving in on her. Mostly she rejected their offers with a smile and a few kind words. They always walked away with a shrug and returning smile.

Twice she said yes. Soul furiously eyed the hands of the men as they slid down to her hips from behind. She couldn’t really dance, but she could feel and move to the beat. They were basically grinding. Soul had never considered that dancing before, but with the intimate way the guy’s hands cupped her hips Soul was revising his opinion.

The guy never made any plays for her ass or any other part of her body as Soul had seen before at clubs like this.

After one song was over both guys leaned in, whispered something in her ear, then wandered away.

Whatever the second guy whispered made her head jerk up and she almost beaned the guy in the nose. He laughed heartily as she apologized.

With a quick wave he was gone again.

After that Maka always seemed to dance with her back turned towards him. Soul couldn’t get a glimpse of her face. He’d followed her around the entire bar at least twice and he just wanted to be able to look at her. Not that the view from the back wasn’t absolutely breathtaking, but her face was so expressive. The quiet rapture as she danced was entrancing.

He was debating approaching her when some blue-haired, loud-mouthed fucktard grabbed her from behind and spun her. He ended the spin in a dip.

Soul saw her face for the first time in a while It must have been something the guy was saying because Soul could hear him from where he was. He couldn’t make out the words, but the guy’s voice was giving him a headache.

Trying to be sneaky, Soul inched closer to the two. Oddly, the closer he got the harder it was to hear the jackass.

He heard Maka’s voice float over the music, “…congrats! What a freaking hottie. You lucky dog!” The guy grinned at her with all his teeth, but Soul couldn’t hear anything else.

By the time he got within a few people of them they’d already mostly wrapped up the conversation. Again, he could only hear Maka. "Don’t worry, I’ll handle it. I already know all about it. Kilik told me earlier.“ There was low-voiced murmur from asshole. "Yeah, yeah. I know! Just go already!” She laughed at him.

With a worried look he kissed her forehead and wandered away. Soul could feel the fury showing on his face and the couple nearest him began to back away. With a beautiful scowl Soul marched back to his wall.

However, he’d been so angry he’d lost sight of Maka. Assuming she’d just gone to the restroom he moved over to that door. After a bit he stopped a girl coming out. "Um, my girlfriend said she was going to the bathroom. Is there anyone else in there?“

The girl shook her head pityingly and walked away.

Soul clenched his jaw and waded into the dancing crowd. He had to protect Maka. She was tiny and fragile, but also too hot for her own good.

He’d just hit the middle and was starting to frantically work through to the other side when he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

Behind him was a small clear space with Maka standing right in the middle of it.

Soul whipped around to face her taking half a step forward in the process. It was the wrong thing to do.

Maka stepped forward in the same instant. The next thing he knew Soul was once again on the floor. This time his head didn’t ache, just every other part of his body. He thought she might have flipped him, but he couldn’t seem to get the order of events right. Really he just remembered some blurred movement on her part.

Now he was staring up at her with her foot on his chest holding him down.

Soul grunted and didn’t even try to escape. Realizing he might be a masochist, Soul decided that being under her foot was a lovely place to be… even if he still couldn’t see under her skirt.

"Do you know what the definition of a stalker is? Noun. To follow obsessively and to the point of harassment. Origin Middle English. And you had the gall to accuse me of being one earlier. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Soul could only stare up at her with worship in his eyes. Her legs were perfection and this angle gave him an all new perspective on her chest.

Oh great; he was drooling again.

Even better; Maka noticed.

“Are you drooling? What are you, some kind of sicko-pervert?”

Soul opened his mouth - he was pretty sure it was to finally answer - but he was interrupted by the girl from earlier. He still couldn’t remember her name, but he was grateful for the interruption of what was obviously going to be something stupid coming out of his mouth.

“OH EM GEE!! What are you doing to Mr. Evans!” It wasn’t actually a question, more of a screamed statement. "Oh my god, his agent is gonna sue you! What if he’s bruised?! Did you know he’s filming right now? They’ll have to put the whole project on hold if he’s hurt.“

She knelt beside him and started cooing to his pectoral muscles. She began to slowly reach out to touch.

Hero worship freaked Soul out. He rolled out from under Maka’s foot and away from the outstretched hand. The girl was more interested in the movement of his abs as he moved anyway.

"I… um - I’m sorry!” With that brief exclamation in Maka’s general direction he rushed from the club determined to never go back.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'd fuckin' swear I wrote the second part of this but I am ten pages deeper and I cannot find it. So we'll have to go digging even deeper soon.


End file.
